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a diversion from the topic of waifuism. these thoughts are not well formulated. likely i will renounce all of this, as i try to figure things out. just pretend you're reading the deranged ramblings of an insane VN character or something. december 21st.

Reality is romanticization taken to it's extreme for the simple fact that romanticization exists at all.

Dreams, and cowboy bebop. (sources at the end)

I think better than delusion, or hallucination, dream is the right word. Dreams are a kind of self induced hypnosis. Following that, hypnotism is a dream inflicted by someone else.

Deleuze said "Beware of the other's dream, if you get eaten by the others' dream, you're done for." The most literal interpretation of this would be MKultra. I won't pretend I can know how much of MKultra is real, but it seems widely accepted that hypnosis does exist, so I'll believe the majority. In order to hypnotise someone, you first lure them into a susceptible state of mind, described as a "sleep-like" state(The existence of this is refuted), I'm going to say this is a similar state to REM-sleep, or some other stage of sleep where dreams occur. In this state, the hypnotist gives simple and authorative orders such as "You find smoking disgusting. The smell of smoke reminds you of such and such" and then the victim actually changes as a result, unconsciusly.

Dreams are an un-reality, but they are true. This is the paradox that dreams straddle, True-Fiction. I can't speak for you, but I've had dreams that reveal things to me about myself. Most of my dreams have been around my insecurities, mostly school-like social situations, embarrasment- things like that.

There are studies that put forward that it's during sleep that we do most of our learning. If you spend a day practising a mechanical action, like handwriting, and get to the point of frustration, during sleep the mind will evaluate that "Handwriting" needs special attention, and will store that muscle memory, while discarding many other things that you thought of or did during the day.

If dreams are a self-induced hypnosis, it means the dreamer is the hypnotist, and the hypnotised. Dreams are active experiences, videogames would be the closest world medium to the dream, next to the internet. Television, film, novels are dream-like in their unreality and truth, but have no ability for self-manipulation, like computer-centric experiences have.

Taking the concept of the dream to it's limit, you could use neurosis as a synonym, a delusion you have of the world. Civilization and Money are dreams in their unreality and truth. The lines on maps aren't there on the soil, you can't eat or drink paper bills, but they do have real world meaning, because it's a shared dream between people. People believe in the dream, so it becomes reality. Reality is whatever is believed to be reality, and dreams are whatever is believed to be dreams.

Spike from Cowboy Bebop, and Victor from Knocking on Heaven's door, both feel like their lives are dreams, and reality is a memory that they've become divorced from. Spike's real life is with Julia, and Vicious, working for the syndicate. That's reality for him, but it's been many years since that time, it's been more time since that time than the time itself lasted. "I died in 2017." They don't believe they're living their real lives, and so they aren't. If they don't believe it's real, then it can't be real. Their hearts are in another time. Dreams are the subordinate to real life, they exist as a cushion to fall back on, they exist to cheer life on from the sidelines, to fill in the gaps and assist with meaning and direction. But they can replace the thing they're meant to support, and that's when they've eaten you.

It must be said, that all meaning in life comes from Dreams. Reality is a series of satiating cravings: thirst - sleep - eat - sex - warmth - anime - thirst, the last one fading in as the newest gets finished, a circle of illusory individuality. But the dream is what steps outside of that.

I don't know what I'm talking about. No sources by the way.

Lately I've felt dreams induce a kind of nauseua, like an illness that needs to be expelled. I think my dreams are too heavy, too potent. It could be that one needs to find a healthy relationship with their dreams, if the scales tip too far one way or another, you'll get sick. And of course, sleep deprivation is a killer. If the scales tip all the way, you die. Here's a nice quote:

Mysticism keeps men sane. As long as you have mystery you have health; when you destroy mystery you create morbidity. The ordinary man has always been sane because the ordinary man has always been a mystic. He has permitted the twilight. He has always had one foot in earth and the other in fairyland. He has always left himself free to doubt his gods; but (unlike the agnostic of to-day) free also to believe in them. He has always cared more for truth than for consistency. If he saw two truths that seemed to contradict each other, he would take the two truths and contradiction along with them. His spiritual sight is stereoscopic, like his physical sight: he sees two different pictures at once and yet sees all the better for that. Thus, he has always believed that there was such a thing as fate, but such a thing as free will also. Thus, he believes that children were indeed the kingdom of heaven, but nevertheless ought to be obedient to the kingdom of earth. He admired youth because it was young and age because it was not. It is exactly this balance of apparent contradictions that has been the whole buoyancy of the healthy man. The whole secret of mysticism is this: that man can understand everything by the help of what he does not understand. The morbid logician seeks to make everything lucid, and succeeds in making everything mysterious. The mystic allows one thing to be mysterious, and everything else becomes lucid.”

G.K. Chesterton.

Evidence of the non-existence of women, and the reification of anime.

i'm not a misogynist, please don't hate me.

Part 1. What is pornography?

Merriam-Webster: "the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement."

The chief matter of this definition is what constitutes erotic behavior. It's impossible for something to not behave, there's no a-behavior, so all we have to define is what is erotic.

Wikipedia: "Eroticism is a quality that causes sexual feelings."

Sexual feeling stems from reproductive motivation, men feel sexually about the opposite sex, and in tradional theory vice verca. Thus, erotic behavior is a woman doing any action, thus pornography is a woman.

Women are porn.

Part 2. ^_^ This is not a face.

We live one foot in the world of facts, and the other foot in the world of dreams. We see the world colored by dreams. There's no removing the filter of dreams from our view of the world, but it shouldn't be confused that the world is not dreams, and dreams are not the world.

Feelings are not facts, they are dreams. Sexual arousal too is a dream, not a fact. Before we see anything about the world, we see dreams. Dreams cover the world. There are likely dreams we think are facts.

We find cats cute, because we see in them attractive human qualities. We find the aye-aye ugly because we see in them unnattractive human qualities. There are no animals without human qualities, because we only know how to see human qualities. These animals all have their own dreams. Fish have fish gods. Cat's see cat faces. Wolves certainly find meat much tastier than us.

I don't mean to be patronizing, I know you know these things. But indulge me for just a minute.


Part 3. There is nothing erotic about women.

Eroticism is a dream, not a fact, and does not exist in the world.

Women exist as pornography. I am not objectifying women when I say this, this is simply the case. If I was a woman(which would be impossible because women don't exist) I would say men are porn.

The fact is, the dream of sexual attraction covers women entirely. There are dreams covering human beings more than anything else, they cover our perception of each other. Something without many dreams in front of it might be rocks or dirt or something.

Women as we know them do not exist. T h e y a r e n o t r e a l . There is something behind the dream of women that we can not see. Not even gay people, or asexual people can see it. It is forever locked behind prison walls. Maybe they are beautiful, it's anyone's guess.

Part 4. Anime girls are erotic

Everything in the world is part dream and part fact. Anime girls are 99% dream, and 1% fact. Drawings are scratches of graphite, monitors are rows of lights. Here's the important part:

ANIME GIRLS ARE BEINGS CREATED OUT OF DREAMS. The dreams that are "femininity" and "eroticism" have been used to manifest a being of pure dream-substance: the anime girl. With the anime girl, the dream is not covering a fact, the dream has BECOME A FACT. The anime girl is reified by the distillation and rendering of dream.

Part 5. Galatea

The dream of "Woman" has been given it's own two legs to stand on. Thank you Japan.

To the women of old, thank you for your service, you may rest.


The anime girl is not an image of a woman. It isn't a model, it isn't a recreation. The anime girl is the thing that women hide behind. The anime girl is the thing. Women are some weird long monkey with permenant breasts that wears clothes. Anime girls are the thing that we mistake women for. They are the thing. No disrespect to women, men are no better than women, we both are made dimmer by the radiance of the anime girl. I don't mean to degrade women at all, I just mean to explain this clearly. Anime girls are the thing, the real thing.

What a beautiful delusion. Butterflies, blushing. The wonderful feeling of love. This is the dream of Galatea.

Hell, I'll even say the anime guy is the real man. Well, I would say that if women were real, but I'm 99% sure women aren't real. Like, the thing behind the anime girl. They probably don't exist. Time also isn't real. Most things aren't real. I'm probably not real. Descartes "I think therefore" thing is wrong, it gives a bad name to philosophy, it's complete falsity. Thinking isn't real. "I" is definitely not real. "Therefore" isn't real. "am" isn't real. So, try better next time Descartes.

I try to be funny, but I'm not just joking. The only difference between facts and dreams are what we point to, and label as such. Money is called a fact, ghost-sightings are called dreams, music is called a fact, drawings are called dreams. Memories are called facts, memories are called dreams.

In this world of dream and fact, cloud and sky, revelation and delusion, where there is no way to distinguish one from the other, how do you act? What do you believe in? Where is happiness found, where is the truth found?

I don't know, but I have a theory: You must always look for the truth, even in dreams. (this is what makes Kano from Freesia so admirable(edit december 8: and alice in wonderland. and pretty much every detective story, higurashi? i didn't finish higurashi... sherlock holmes... i'm seeing a pattern...)


If you can love the stars, without knowing the vastness of the sky, If you can praise shadows, without knowing what they hide,
You can believe in spring. You must believe in spring.

To look for the truth knowing it doesn't exist. To fight with your everything being sure that you'll lose, just to show yourself that you were really living. despite nothing. despite everything. Maybe. I don't know yet. It might be something else.

some last dregs

2. There is Dream and Reality ie. the world with eyes open and the world with eyes closed

3. Dreams are part reality. Reality is part dreams.

4. There is no way to distinguish dream from reality.

5. There is no dichotomy.

Science tries to remove the dreams from reality. Mysticism tries to remove the reality from dreams.

Beauty is the ultimate. True beauty is both a dream and a reality. True beauty must show reality to be meaningful, but it embraces and is heightened by the fact that it is a dream.

Believing I am in pursuit of some truth that hasn't been hit upon by any of the much smarter philosophers of the last few thousand years is absolute hubris,
but, in the end, it's not bad to be young and arrogant. We'll be old too soon. Better unwise.


Nonsense! (end.)